How to Tell if You’re Spanglish

1)     You wore guayaberas long before the late ‘90s.  

2)     You rarely watch Univision or Telemundo

3)     You are clear on salsa’s double-meaning: sauce and dance

4)     You don’t feel quite American but you’ll correct anyone who says you’re not.

5)     When frustrated by the inadequacies of English and Spanish, you liberally substitute words from either language to convey the proper emotion.

6)     You have several religion-themed objects in your house but you’re not at all religious.

7)     You hug and kiss friends and relatives even if you don’t like them.

8)     You have relatives who are much lighter- or darker-skinned than you are.

9)     You are extremely good-looking but no one says so because no one who looks like you is on television or in the movies

10)  You walk, think, breathe, and have sex in syncopation, rather than 4/4 march time.

11)  You only occasionally had to refer to the subtitles while watching “Y tu mamá también”

12)  You stay on the dance floor through Kraftwerk, Jay Z, and Tito Puente without a problem.

13)  You know there’s nothing remotely Spanglish about George Bush or the Republican Party.